Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
