well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize