You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
