Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
