he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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