He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
