my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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