Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
