oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
