I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
