the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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