I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
