Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
