My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize