1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
