I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
nutella sex= disaster
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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