apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We need to get me chipped asap
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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