i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
