i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
