I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
