i think i have herpe
just one?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
