Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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