i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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