Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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