i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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