If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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