Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
