wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
