He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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