My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
