is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
