Your tits are I can't wait for
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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