why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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