uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
