i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
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I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
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Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize