some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize