the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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