I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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