you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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