You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You're like the curious george of whores
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
