that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
