i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
How naked do you want me to be?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
