Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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