Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
