You're completely useless in the revolution.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Houston, we have a blender
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
