Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
And the cops told us we were all naked.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
