Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
