if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
