just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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