i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
