Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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