Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize