I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
