worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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