I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
