don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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