Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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