I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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