nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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