You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
